Be Careful What You Wish For

As many of you know, I will rather vacuum ten carpets before I mop one floor… and while I wanted a clean floor, I got more than I bargained for on Tuesday.

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Godzilla, Axilla, Who Cares, It is Sore!

I have a cysty boil thingy in my armpit. It is medically called a folliculitis axilla, but to me it feels like a giganticus godzilla. I cannot begin to describe the discomfort I’m still feeling after having been to the doctor last Friday. By then I’d already had this nuclear sea monster egg for four days. One consultation, two different antibiotics, and an ointment later and I was already counting the days to this month’s payday. What I didn’t bargain on is the meds being almost finished and zero relief. This has to be one of the most painful things I’ve had, aside from a Bartholin’s cyst and an appendicitis (not at the same time, thank goodness!) and Loskop that I am, I left my meds at home today.

I think I’m just a cyst magnet. I’ve had teratomas removed from my ovaries four times. If you’re squeamish, don’t Google what they are. The first one I had, had teeth and hair, and the last one removed five years ago had embryonic tissue. Ironic when you consider I’ve never been pregnant. I find them fascinating, even though they’re quite gross. Then I’ve had two Bartholins cysts too. Again, if you’re easily nauseated or one of those people that grabs towards your own dangly bits when someone gets kicked in theirs on the TV, don’t Google what they are either. Oh, and then let’s not forget about the mice in my boobs last October.

Okay, that’s enough for now. I’m going to have my lunch which is carrot, sweet potato, chickpea, and coriander soup (before you ask me for the recipe, it’s out of a tin), with some toast.

Keeping Going

I’ve been out of isolation for almost three weeks. I’m grateful to report that I am getting stronger every day. The insane, rib-cracking coughing is almost finally at an end, but I still get tired very quickly. An hour on the beach on Saturday ended with me having a three-hour sleep when I got home. Every night I’ve switched off my light around 21h00, which for me is early.

A few things have changed since I took ill:

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2021 is Almost at an End; Looking back

Well… 2021 is almost at an end and all I can say is Thank the Pope! It’s been a rough, tough, and often downright shite, but it did have some good moments too. I made a few new friends, had quite a bit of freelance work for almost nine months doing social media postings for Where to Next, proofreading for local, Pegasus UK published, author, Sharon Brummer, writing some blogs for Noisy Digital, and when I got the dreaded plague, I got sick, and while it was bad, I know that it could have been so much worse. I didn’t get to blog as much as I would have liked, something I hope to rectify in 2022. Looking back…

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A ‘Mouse’ Squatting in my Boob

I’ve always been aware of #breastcancerawareness but after this, I am a lot more serious about it. Ladies (and gents), please check your boobs for irregularities regularly. If you don’t know how, speak to a local healthcare practitioner.

It was a normal Monday morning shower. Until it wasn’t anymore. There I was, warm water cascading down over me, yet I was ice-cold with an indescribable feeling of dread; I had felt something unusual in my right boob – a hard lump. Could it be cancer? Nah, surely not?! But maybe… no, don’t be stupid! There’s no history of breast cancer in the family…but what about on your biological father’s side? It could be cancer… you’re at that age… These are just a few of the things that milled through my head the entire day. Needless to say, I hardly slept. I kept waking up during the night poking my boob. As sure as the earth rotates on its axis the knob was still there, feeling to me to be about the size of an old one Rand coin.

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Heartbreak Autopsy

Does the hurt you caused me ever sucker punch you unexpectedly?
Do you ever feel enveloped by a storm of sadness?
Do you ever wonder if I’ve wanted to die because of it?

Your broken promises are splinters of glass in my mind
“I’ll never hurt you” – the salt in my wounds

Do you ever have to stifle screams of terror at night
As the memories choke you with their icy hands
Their bony fingers squeezing the throat your lips often caressed

Silent tears flow as panic threatens to turn to hate
“I’m sorry” – the word I damn to Hell

I try to sleep to silence the voices in my head
My rest plagued by inescapable rooms
Every door I open leads to another dungeon of heartache

My bed is cold, a sanitized, steel slab
You make the Y-incision with the diamond of her engagement ring

Did she stand beside you as you cracked my ribs
To remove my still-beating heart?
Our end: your start

My Lockdown in Review

I have been reading through some of my posts that kept me sane during the hard lockdown last year. If you want to take a gander at them, the first post is here.

Part of me can hardly believe it has already been as long as that, because those first three weeks feel like a distant memory. Sometimes I wonder if they indeed did happen, because looking back now, I realize that as tough as those first-three-weeks-now-more-than-three-hundred-and-sixty-five-days have been, I’ve adapted and grown.

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What’s the Worst Thing You can Step on in the Dark?

It’s not been the best week, so I’m grateful that it is Friday. Monday is the start of a new week and a new month. Historically February isn’t a good month for me; it brings with it many reminders that trigger deep bouts of sadness within me, but at least I know to expect them, right?

Anyhow, the inspiration for today’s post, comes from one of the pages I follow on Facebook. It had a post up today posing the question: What’s the worst thing you can step on in the dark?

I can think of quite a few things…

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