A Few Shades of Misfit

Two weeks ago I bought the “Fifty Shades” Trilogy by EL James which has quite literally, taken the world by storm.

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I could not put them down!   Yes, yes, I’m Mid-Thirty Misfit and I’m an addict. Every free moment I had to read, I did.  It was like the world that existed for me was that of Ana Steele and Christian Grey.  I even read while on the treadmill at the gym, capturing the curiosity of some of the people there.  I’d get home at night, eat my dinner, bath and climb into my toasty bed and read until I couldn’t keep my eyes open anymore.

For those of you who haven’t yet read them, but still wish to, stop reading this post now, because there may be spoilers.

While the books have phrases that are constantly repeated, annoyingly so, the story is a solid one.  The first book is more sex than story, but an education nevertheless.  I had to laugh when Christian tells Ana that he’s never had Vanilla Sex before and I found myself thinking, so that’s what sex with a virgin is, only to find out later that it is not – it is sex without any toys or add-ons.  I’ve watched some things on TV (mostly crime fiction, like CSI, Castle  and the like) involving BDSM, and I always thought it to be creepy, but then again, each to his / own, not so?  Certain scenes in the books are rather explicit, but despite that, I found myself intrigued.  I still find it difficult to grasp that there are people in the world who get their kicks out of being trussed up, collared, beaten with canes, tickled with riding crops, or suspended from the ceiling, but from Ana’s point of view, it sounds like something everyone should try, at least once – with someone you trust.  Despite the deviant nature of such an arrangement / relationship, trust is obviously implicit between both parties.  

Certain occurrences in the books have had me blushing all shades of pink.  The other day I was chatting to Steve about the next flavour of shake I should get and he rattled off something in the lines of, “The chocolate is too close to the one you’ve had the past month, you have an aversion to strawberry and vanilla would be too boring.”  He has no idea what the books are about, but I felt my face heat when he’d finished talking.  I’m quite sure he noticed the blush, but gentleman that he is, he didn’t mention it.

But enough about the books for now – because if I carry on thinking about them, I may very well end up re-reading them… Don’t get me wrong, I plan on re-reading them in the future, preferably with a willing man, whom I trust, close by to help alleviate the tension.

On other things – Liza is getting married in September, (on my birthday!!!!), so Elizabeth arranged a hen night for her using Anita’s house as the venue.  We dressed her in bloomers, a bride-to-be-sash and a sexy belly-dancing bra.Image

The evening was a resounding success although Elizabeth keeps second guessing herself.  The food was great, the games were fun and the bride-to-be laughed and shed tears of joy.  As was the case with Anita’s hen party, there was an interesting cake for Liza too…

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One of the games, an old favourite at most hen parties, was to nominate a team member to be a bride and make her a dress out of (really cheap, scratchy, easily-torn, one ply) toilet paper.  I was the toilet paper bride at Anita’s hen night and again at Liza’s.  Don’t I look absolutely gorgeous?

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Her other friends decided to take her out pub-crawling – and to sell condoms (which are free from the State) – resulting in her going home with some extra cash.  She says that although her head felt a bit tender yesterday morning, she had a wonderfully memorable evening.  Her smile is all the gratitude I need.

I have been somewhat introspective lately, which can either be regarded as a good or a bad thing depending on what side of the fence you’re sitting on, but for me, for the most part, it is a good thing.  I am trying to live more in the present, taking each day as it comes, being grateful for the blessings that each day holds.  While yesterday and the yesterdays before it have an impact on who I am today, there is no way of going back to change the things I’m not proud of or unhappy about.  Tomorrow may not come for me, if it’s God’s will, so I try not to think about it.  After all, it will be a today soon enough…

I have a bit of poetry looming in my blood, which I’ll post soon.

Friday Fun

For some reason I have been in the mood for baking.  The other day it was biscuits and this morning it is a cake.  It is the first time I have used a bundt cake ring, as well as an icing bag, but I don’t think I did too badly for a first attempt 🙂

Dad and I are watching the cricket – I think it is going to be an interesting game, and of course, I am rooting for the Proteas.

Carmen is celebrating her crown birthday on the 30th and in celebration of the milestone, she is hosting a trailer trash party tomorrow afternoon.  She has invited both Elizabeth and I.  I have a pretty good idea of what I am going to wear.  I will take a few pics to post.  I am looking forward to seeing how inventive the guests are with the dress code.  I love a theme party!

Then, Side View’s weekend theme “Star”, here is my contribution – a little ditty:

You’re My Stars

Consult the Stars

Oh Psychic One

Tell me of Wars

Not yet Begun

Consult the Stars

Navigator of the Seas

So that I may set sail

In the gentle breeze

Consult the Stars

My friends

So you can see them shine

Like they belong to God,

I’m honoured to say “you’re mine”.

Right, now I’m off to go and slice that cake of mine and have a cuppa tea…

‘Til later 🙂

This is Your Captain Speaking

Yes, that’s right.  Yours Truly has been nominated as the Office Ladies’ Soccer Captain.  So I guess that would make me Captain MTM.  In an attempt to build some team spirit between the different departments around the farm, it was decided by the Powers that Be to host a Ladies’ Lunch Time Soccer Game next Thursday.  By some autocratic decision I was made Captain of a team consisting of all the office ladies (there are squeals about broken nails and having to tie up their hair), the older generation of the harvesting ladies and some packhouse ladies.  Everyone is already laughing, so the team spirit is already on the up and up. 

Our team is playing the much-stronger Field side, so it is a given that we are going to get annihilated – without a shadow of a doubt, but what we lack in skill, we make up for in dedication and creativity.  Sandra said she thinks we should come dressed totally wacky (she is thinking shorts, long socks and a ballerina’s tutu).  I told every one on my team I want a suggestion of a name for a team name, as well as team colours.  In the democracy that is my office, I will chuck all the suggestions in a hat and get one of the gents to select the “winning combination”.

One of my team members, Evangeline sent me a mail asking, “Captain, what exactly does a midfielder do?”

My reply was quite simply, “Kick the ball and hope to hell nobody trips you.”

Last weekend’s Halloween party was a blast.  Liza and Elizabeth really went to a great deal of trouble and fun was had by all.  !

The following people attended:

Rachel and Kyle, dressed as a witch and Frankenstein

Philip (Elizabeth’s brother), dressed as Captain Hooker, the gay pirate.

Roger, dressed as a very blond John Lennon

Mary-Ann, dressed as a witch

Liza dressed as Liewe Heksie

and her other half, Keith, as the Devil

Elizabeth, dressed as Casper the Friendly Ghost.  She had a head-piece too, but the designer cut a square piece (instead of two round holes) for her eyes, so she left it at home because she thought she resembled the Klu Klux Klan.

Andrea and Mike (Elizabeth’s sister and her boyfriend), dressed as Miss Kienie (translated to be Maybe Not) and a nameless boxer (I loved the shiner!).

Imi and Zane (Elizabeth’s other sister and her boyfriend), dressed as they were, with masks to cover their faces – they hadn’t planned to come to the party, but at the last minute decided they would.

Emilynn, dressed as a (very convincing) zombie

and last, but not least, Yours Truly as a vampire

We took a drive through town on the back of Keith’s van through town.  We got some interesting reactions.  I nearly lost my teeth a couple of times.  Emilynn, seriously in the spirit of scary spookiness walked up to an unsuspecting couple necking in the car, knocked on their window and scared them – to such an extent that the gent lit up a cigarette, started the car and drove off.  It was SO funny!  Here are some group photos we took:

Andrea and Mike baked a cake, perfectly suited to the theme.  The spider was made out of a Whisper, a piece of a Bar One and a Sweetie Pie.  The spider web was liquorice.  I thought it extremely creative.

On the quandry – I’m still in two minds about what to do…it’s been a very long time, so what’s another couple of days?  I’m sure he knows how I feel – he can’t possibly not, given the interaction and hints I have been dropping through the years, but part of me can’t help wondering if I actually tell him, that it might change things. 

Mom had the idea of going out for dinner, but I’m still at work so it remains to be seen if that will indeed materialize.  Some days I really hate this place…