Argh!!!!!!

I said to The Bean this morning, “It’s Monday”, and her response was, “No, it’s Thursday” to which I further stated, “It’s a Monday because there was a break in the week.”

Holy crap on sleet, snow and burnt toast! Just after seven this morning I got a heads-up that I may be walking into a shitstorm when I arrived at the office. Turns out that an attempt to aid a colleague confused her and had her here until after eight last night – on a public holiday. I apologised and she was understanding, but nevertheless, the day pretty much has gone downhill from there and I am over it. Seriously. Fucking. Over. It!

Thank goodness we are closing for our summer break tomorrow, because I don’t know how much more strain I can take. I am beyond exhausted, both mentally and physically. Aside from the pressure at work, I am gatvol of Covid-19. While I am not a big fan of the beach, I do enjoy a swim in the sea during my holiday; the beaches are now closed to swimmers, but open to surfers and fishermen. I wonder how the virus discerns between the different beachgoers.

I don’t have much planned for my holiday, other than spending some time with my folks and popping out to the farm to see Shayla-Rae, her mum, her hubby and my Goddaughter, Mouse. I will be able to spend some time in the pool there too, which is a win.

Anyway, I’m off to make myself a cup of Rooibos tea, because if I drink coffee and someone further pisses on my parade, I may just klap them.

I promise that my next post will be a non-rant.

Meh, Meh, Meh!

One thing I have struggled with during the lockdown is reading. I’m not sure why, because reading has always been a great form of escape for me. It’s as if my brain refuses to leave the place it’s at now to go to places of fantasy, murder, and intrigue. It’s frustrating to say the least.

Maybe it’s because I’m feeling like John Coffey in The Green Mile, which coincidentally is one of my favourite books.

There is a lot of awful stuff going on. Not just in South Africa, but globally. It makes me sad, even though I know there is nothing I can do about it. As far as possible I try to live in my little bubble, oblivious to what’s going on around me, but the muck still filters through.

Moodboard Monday: Brown

The psychology of the colour brown touches on some aspects of nature, but interestingly states that in large amounts, the colour can evoke negative feelings.

Solitary Confinement

(Image from:  indybay.org)

Alone with my Thoughts

I’m not my worst enemy

I’m a prisoner, an unwilling hostage

Confined by thoughts of despair and solitude

Incarcerated in the darkness of my regressive mind

Images cloud my tired mind

Some strikingly clear, others somewhat hazy

Slivered light – Dawn signals a new day

Not enough to fend off my mind’s tricks

The mildew of indescribable sadness

Fills my nostrils, making me gag

My heart aches, but no tears fall

No-one hears the silent screams of my misery

Dampness clings to my cheeks

Tears have escaped, during my sleep

I’m alone. No Love to cover me

My vivid imagination my only hope of freedom

Seated on the slimy mattress

I contemplate jumping into the chasm

At least there I will be free

Thoughts…they won’t be able to harm me

There is no prison warden

With an evil grin, nor the keys

Only I have the means to leave

I need strength to fight the loneliness

Passport ‘n Visa Woes

At last!  Dad hears on Monday afternoon that the Nigerian Embassy have released his passport, visa approved and that it will be sent off to the agents in Cape Town, acting on behalf of his employer.  The latter inform him that his passport would be with him by yesterday afternoon at 15:00.  Needless to say, it didn’t arrive – because someone there forgot to put it in the courier bag!  We are however assured that it will be here today as it will be dispatched on a same day courier service.  This results in us frantically contacting his office to change his flights from Wednesday to Thursday – no problem there, done in a flash. 

Anyhow, we wait and wait and wait, until I eventually become impatient and contact the sender for the waybill number, “it was dispatched this morning, the waybill number is xxxx xxxxx xxxx.”  Jolly good.  I contact the courier office this side who tell me it was dispatched and is marked for same day delivery, we will receive it tonight.  Looks like things are finally falling into place when not fifteen minutes later, the local office phones back to tell me that the airport is closed due to heavy fog and the plane was returned to Cape Town, with the passport on board.  I am ready to commit  hari-kiri! 

The poor girl that side could hear the desperation in my voice and assured me that someone is already on their way back to Cape Town International Airport to pick up the passport and put it on a van that will be coming through to George this evening, so that we can pick it up tomorrow morning at Sparrow’s Fart as dad is flying out at just after nine and with the mad rush, we obviously have to be there quite a bit before the time.

I am at the end of my tether already – why couldn’t he just be placed back in Malaysia or Singapore, where he doesn’t need a visa.

Less drama means smiles for everyone…not so?

The Past Fortnight in a Single Blog Entry

I haven’t blogged for ages! Work is keeping me busy, as usual, and with the writing course thrown into the mix, there isn’t much time for me to do much else, BUT I did finally take some time out this past fortnight to let my hair down a bit.  I am going to really try to blog at least twice a week, and then hopefully daily as I used to because it is imperative for me to exercise my writing muscles.

Anyhow, about letting my hair down…

Many of you already know this, but for those of you who don’t, I still live with parents, I’m still single – longing to be attached – and I’m constantly reminded by a number of people around me that they can hear my biological clock ticking – catch twenty two there as well, because it’s not like I don’t want to experience the joys of sex (casual or otherwise), but my mother will not (and bear in mind I’m already thirty one!) allow me to share a bed with any man under her roof, and I’m made to feel quite guilty for going out when Dad is working away, so I don’t get to meet anyone for a casual quickie at his place either.

I have a guy-friend (who is turning into a Friend With Benefits (FWB) – note not a Fuck Buddy (FB) (there is a difference) who I invite around when the folks go away, and it helps to release the tension, but it’s not really what I want (and I don’t think he does either, if he’s honest.) We both love each other on some level, but we also both know that a relationship will never work between us.

Okay, so before I go on, maybe some of you would like to know what the difference is between a FWB and FB. It’s simple really. A FWB is someone you can go out with, to movies, dancing, whatever…without it necessarily ending up with the two of you in bed. If it does end with a session of rumpy-pumpy (I hope you don’t mind me using your catch phrase Only Cin)(http://theonlycin.wordpress.com ), then the FWB is usually still there in the morning to share a cup of coffee (and if time allows, breakfast too). A FB on the other hand is someone you call to release sexual tension with, and who is not interested to wake up with you the next morning.

Oddly enough, this person who is turning into a FWB has been in my life for over a decade already, and despite a number of occasions that things have got a little heated between us, he only kissed me for the first time a little over a year and a half ago. It rocked my world, but it also left with some unanswered questions. I will often tell him when I’m ringing off a telephone conversation, “Okay, love you, bye”, to which his reply has always been, “me too…” I have never expected to hear those three words from him. Ever.

So, Mom and Dad were away for a few days and he came over and after a little too much wine we ended up in bed and things got very hot and steamy.  It was fantastic!  In the aftermath of the awesomeness, I was lying on his shoulder when he said, “I love you.  You know that don’t you?” I was too stunned to say anything, so I pretended to be asleep.  Some of you are probably thinking, “they’re obviously really good, if not best friends, they love each other, so why not give a relationship a fair chance?” The answer is simple – I love him.  He loves me.  BUT he also loves many other women, can’t hold down a job, has a bit of a drinking problem and a number of other personal issues which it wouldn’t be fair of me to mention on my blog.

Anyhow, back to the awesomeness…while things have got hot and steamy between us in the past, this was the first time we’d actually opted for a full out home-run game.  It was carnally passionate, yet so tender.  It felt so right because it was so good, but  it also left me stressing for the past week, because my period was late, but it eventually did arrive on Friday, so I’m not pregnant.  What a relief!

This past Friday night I went over to Elizabeth’s house for a braai – to celebrate her brother, Patrick’s 33rd birthday (and finally being assured of NOT being pregnant).  A braai at their place is always fun, but this particular one wasn’t just fun…it was GREAT fun.  But, with great fun usually comes a great hangover the next day, or in my case, a sore ankle.  I know that at some stage, in an attempt to be captured on camera for a group photo (which was set on the self timer), I made a dash across the verandah, slipped and fell on my bum!  Note, my bum, NOT my ankle.  Patrick’s colleague, Roger was also there and apparently Roger is rather taken with Yours Truly.  In fact, he thinks I’m rather fetching (yes, that is the word he used).  I will admit, I’m flattered, so I’ve given Patrick the okay to give Roger my number.  I am in no way saying that anything more than friends is going to develop, but I’m being open-minded about it.  He is younger than I am (which, if anything did develop, would be a first for me, because I generally prefer older men), but he seems mature for his age (a mere twenty-four), and a gentleman too.

Right, that may leave some of you asking “what about Jake the Pilot or Mark the DJ?” In a nutshell, Jake and I are no longer in contact.  I’m not going to go into the reason why, but suffice to say, it is a sensitive issue.  As for Mark, we still exchange the odd text message, but there will be no romance there – he’s just not that into me…it took me a while to realize it, but I’m actually okay with it. 

On other fronts:

I emailed my second assignment for my novel-writing course to my tutor last week and received an 82.4% result!  I was very happy about it.  I have received the third module already and will begin working on it this week. 

Work is still hectic, with various farm audits coming up this month.  I have been swamped with paperwork and then a certain retail chain that we pack for gave us 48 hours notice of their audit of us, which had me running around like a mad person, but everything that needs to be in place is, so I know it will go swimmingly.

Mom took Elizabeth, Aunty Carol and Uncle Barry and I out for lunch today and on our way home we stopped at a local antiques place where Mom bought me a beautiful pair of amethyst and marcasite earrings.  They are absolutely gorgeous.   Perfect for a first date…