This past fortnight has been quite emotional for me. It can be written off to the Mirena I had put in when the doctor did the other two procedures in November last year. It’s normal. Apparently. I must just ride the wave. Does that mean surf’s up?
Last week was a particularly bad week for me. I would go from zero to bitch to activist to snivelling heap, to centre of attention to strong silent type in a matter of minutes. Add to that I sometimes have foreboding premonitions and well, you pretty much have a category five hurricane on your hands.
I don’t often have these gut feelings, but when I do, they’re generally not wrong. My friend Cassey was on my mind a great deal last week, and instead of just touching base, I kept putting it off. Turned out she, along with another friend of mine, both lost parents last week, and one of my FB friends lost her brother, but the heartbreak doesn’t stop there 😦 On Saturday Shayla-Rae let me know that a couple of our former teachers lost their eldest son in a tragic drowning accident. He was only seventeen. A young man, with his entire future ahead of him. It puts things in perspective for me once again. Life is precious and in the blink of an eye, it can be ended, whether after a long illness, or in a heart-rending accident. It also leaves one asking Why? Why did God decide to snuff their candles out? Only He knows…
In the bigger scheme of things – you all know how scared I am to lose my parents, but having heard of all this loss this past week, I’m grateful The Toppie only broke his arm. It could have been a lot worse. A few people have sent well-wishes after my post about The Toppie. As I said, going back to work did him the world of good. I also think it saved The Bean from committing murder 😀 The next bridge to cross is when the plaster comes off. I’ll give y’all another update shortly after.
On a happier note, I’m having a catch-up with Carmen after work tonight. She’s visiting her parents for a few days. Can’t wait to have a decent chinwag with her. Even though I saw her three weeks ago, it feels like years has passed.
Have a great week everyone, and remember – tell the important people in your life that they mean something to you. You never know when they won’t be around anymore!
It’s that time of the year, when I look back reflectively on the year past, and with excitement and expectation for the one that lies ahead.
2017 was a tough year. As an individual I was tested, as a couple my parents were tested, and as a family, you guessed it, we were tested. Yet, here we are on the first day January, with hope and courage in our hearts, and the faithful belief that things will be better this time round. It was also the year that I bid goodbye to seven pairs of shoes, six pairs of which broke at the office. Pair seven broke as I got out the car for my year-end-work-function. As I look back though, as tough as it was, it was a good year, all in all.
January started off slowly, but I did do one parkrun; the only one for the entire year. It was a destined one though, because it was there that I met Heather, with whom I have become quite close. We “get” each other, like uMeredith and Christina do. We’re both book sluts and Dischem whores, who love drinking wine out of enamel mugs at Kaai 4, or eating fish and chips out of polystyrene containers on top of the iconic red London bus at the harbour. In a short twelve months, she’s joined the ranks of “heart sister”.
In February I was faced with a bit of a surprise. The institution through which I studied years ago let me know that if I didn’t complete the final subject of my tertiary year by the end of 2017, I would lose all the credits for that period. I took the leap, borrowed the money and, at the tender age of thirty-seven, hit the books again. It was an experience to say the least, because I struggled with self-discipline. Honestly, had it been anything to do with writing I would have approached it with more enthusiasm. It was also the month I met Charlie, in passing, at Heather’s birthday party, blissfully unaware that by the end of the year he too, would be someone genuinely important in my circle.
The Toppie, Bean and I also went on a bit of a safari adventure, arranged by Tina and some of her friends. It was such a special time for us as a family, where memories were made.
March marched right by. I’ve gone through my photos and I can’t find anything blog-worthy that happened that month.
In April, shortly after The Toppie’s 70th birthday celebration, my parents bid their home goodbye, and moved to a much smaller place, in an industrial area outside of town. It was gut-wrenching to have to watch them sell off their possessions to be able to make ends meet, but through the hardship, they’ve learned that they didn’t need all that stuff – they’ve got each other. It broke my heart when The Bean lost her precious cockatiel, Marley, shortly after.
That same month, a tiny pipe in my bathroom broke, resulting in a flood right through my flat. For three months I couldn’t live there, but thanks to friends and an amazing colleague and his wife, I had a roof over my head the entire time. If I’m honest, I kind of became attached to my transit-home, which was a garden cottage in said colleague’s back garden. The fact that their beautiful Labrador would visit had nothing to do with it.
May was a cold month, so most of the studying I did for exams took place under the duvet, with a cup of hot chocolate in hand. I also spent a great deal of time reading for leisure in the evenings. I discovered the literary genius of Afrikaans author, Deon Meyer and have since read two of his books, Koors and Spoor.
June brought with it the birth of Shayla-Rae’s first child (and my goddaughter), Lily-Rose. She was the most perfect little person I had ever seen.
My heart swelled with pride, not only because I was now a god-mommy, but for my childhood best friend, who pushed that perfect little person out of her vajajay.
I won’t use the exact phrase she did to describe the process of child birth; needless to say, it was colourful.
June also brought with it exams, that, no matter how much I had studied, I still didn’t feel prepared for. I dragged Tina with me to Cape Town, because she needed a break from the drama with her ex, and because I didn’t fancy being in the Mother City without decent company. It was during that visit that I had the best Durban curry of my life – yes, in Cape Town. It didn’t bode well for my exams the next day because it played havoc with my stomach. I wrote what felt like a million words on the answer sheets provided and when I left, after not having completed the final question, I thought I think I’ve done enough to pass. I took Tina up Signal Hill where we nearly blew away (Did someone say Cape Doctor?) and then we went to the Company Gardens to feed the squirrels. The little critters are quite brazen when they know you’re hiding peanuts.
July was a good month. I got to move back home, to newly installed floors and the luxury of a bath. While I love my morning shower, sometimes all that cures the ails of a long day at the office in the middle of winter, is a hot, candlelit bubble bath.
I also got to visit Shalya-Rae, Shane and little Lily-Rose for a few days in the beautiful Tsitsikamma. I really wanted to do the hike to the suspension bridge across the sea and Shayla-Rae indulged me, carrying a sleepy Lily the entire way in the car chair. It was up countless stairs, and down through steep valleys. The view, and the feeling of absolute freedom was amazing. Granted we were windswept and a bit cold afterwards, but it was worth every leg-stiffening step. It’s something I will definitely do again.
Charlie also came home for a holiday and we spent some time together, in an attempt to get to know each other better. While he hasn’t managed to convert me to a KFC fan (yet), I think I did well to make him a Sherlockian. He went back to work in August and his imminent return in January 2018 is something I’m looking forward to.
In August I got my exam results. Thankfully I’d passed. With distinction! I could hardly believe my eyes when I saw the results. Over eighty percent. I still don’t know how I managed the excellent mark; I can only think that there were many prayers going up at the time on my behalf.
September. The month of my birthday …Usually I have some kind of shindig to celebrate, but this year, I opted for something a little more low-key. Jensen, a family friend of over twenty-five years, came to visit and took me out for pizza and wine at a new place in town. It was a great catch-up. First Sighting Shiraz is a wine I most certainly need in my collection.
Carmen and Ewan also welcomed their second child into the world. World, meet little Roger!
In October, little Liam, Eliza and Neil’s second child celebrated his first birthday. I have a special tie with him; he’s my “bonding-baby” – the first child I every held that wasn’t even a month old yet, and I believe that he prepared me for Lily-Rose. In the imaginary world I sometimes live in, I imagine the two of them getting married one day.
It was also the first time I got hypnotised. Theresa came to visit and I convinced her to tag along with me to a hypnosis entertainment show. I’ve always wondered about going under but didn’t for a minute think I would be on stage. For over an hour! Theresa was awesome, filming all my shenanigans on her phone. I looked like I had tremendous fun and without a doubt, I will do it again. I woke up the next morning stiff as a board, but after watching the clips, I understand why – I was really active on stage, from being a dinosaur, to a washing machine, to a goldfish, to a rapper, to a lifeguard and then some.
Now, there are few things as daunting as having a man who you’re not having sex with inspect your lady-bits, but in November I trotted off to the surgery. I’d been putting off the gynae visit for months, but due to exacerbating problems around Aunt Flo’s visit every month, I was left no choice but to face the Fanny Flapper and his dreaded (to coin a phrase by a good writer friend of mine) dildo cam. It should be mentioned at this juncture that the past two times I’ve seen him, it has been for emergency procedures, so when he greeted me with, “It’s so lovely to see you here, in my office, instead of the operating theatre,” I couldn’t help but smile. After likening my cycle to that of pig slaughter, it was decided that a deeper look would be crucial to get to the core of the problem. Oh yay, off I go to the hospital. Again. What I wasn’t expecting was that it would be for two procedures. I’d had the first, a laparoscopy, before so I knew what to expect. The second, a hysteroscopy, I was a bit worried about because it sounded a bit scary. Turns out there was reason for concern: The monthly vampire bloodfest seeping from my uterus was due to a teratoma (the same thing the first laparoscopy had been done for to remove). The odd thing was it wasn’t on my ovary, where the little bastards normally cling on, it was between my intestine and my stomach lining. It had all kinds of different human tissue, which I of course find fascinating; most people find it gross. The doctor said they do tend to grow back, but in this particular case, this might be the remnants of the original alien that the first doctor didn’t get entirely removed. Thankfully, I am feeling a great deal better. The night-dwelling-day-sleeping-bloodsuckers are probably really pissed off with me about it though.
December. By definition: Hectic. It is par for the course when one lives in a seaside-resort-holiday-town. With only three weeks available to do what felt like three months’ worth of work, tempers were clearly frayed and the prospect of a holiday was all that kept me from committing murder. Fortunately, before that happened, our bosses were awesome and gave us a delicious year end dinner, which gave me a reason to dress up.
I originally wore a pair of killer silver heels, but both shoes broke as I got out the car.
Little Lily-Rose was christened in the Dutch Reformed Church a stone-throw away from a one-horse-town called Kareedouw. It wasn’t without its own hysterics. Shayla-Rae’s mum put her button-up dress over her satin slip (which was keeping her warm). As we stood up to sing the first hymn, her pretty, pink pyjamas landed in a crumpled heap at her feet. I of course was the only one who saw it, and trying not to laugh, only made me want to laugh more. It may not sound funny to those of you reading this, but to me it was hysterical.
It was also my twenty-year school reunion, which I didn’t attend due to other commitments. From the photos it looks like much fun was had. One pleasant surprise was seeing Nola and her husband Connor, who decided to surprise my parents and I with a visit. She was also a best friend at school and boarded with us in our final year. Our paths don’t cross often anymore, because she lives in a different city, and has Connor and two beautiful boys to look after, but she has never forgotten my-, or my parents’ birthdays. I on the other hand am an epic failure at remembering hers.
It was also the month I realized what my biggest fear is. After having written that post, and some of the responses I received, a few things have more perspective for me now, for which I’m grateful.
Christmas was not a lavish affair for which my jeans still thank me. We had a small braai with Aunty Carol and Uncle Barry and vetkoek. For those of you not familiar with the term, it is bread dough that is deep friend which can be enjoyed with a selection of savoury spreads or sweet preserves.
Shortly after, my former roommate, Sarah, and her fiancé, Sam, came to visit. She is also someone I refer to as a “heart sister” and she is the youngest one of them all. I am her “big (but thin) sister”. We had plans for a day of catching up in the summer sunshine, but not before this:
They’re getting hitched in November next year, so I already have something to look forward to in 2018. You see, I’ve never been a bridesmaid before.
And then, to almost end of 2017, Shayla-Rae and her other half, Shane took me to an open air concert, where there were 12000 people. It may not sound like many, but in the sleepy hollow town where I live, that is probably the entire population out of season. It was the most fun I’ve had in a long while. The R150 Shane paid for six beers though, left a bitter taste in his mouth – it was R10 short of what they’d paid for one (golden circle) ticket.
I’m off to spend the last night of the year with Shayla-Rae and her family at the farm.
I’ve tried my hand at many creative things. Fabric painting, cross-stitch embroidery, colouring-in, and quite recently mosaic. I didn’t attend a class, or anything like that; I just winged it. The store that sells kits close to where I stay has a limited selection, so I opted for a butterfly, not sure what I was going to do with the end-product. I found out from my friend, Alice, earlier this week that a butterfly signifies metamorphosis in some circles.
Intent on starting the project to keep myself busy while cat-sitting for my colleague, Nicola, I ended up binge watching Girlfriends Guide to Divorce, with the cats chilling on the couch next to me instead. Then a little disaster struck (well, if I’m honest, it’s been a long-time coming) and I had to flit off to hospital for two small (although very invasive) procedures, which left me with a week at home to recover. I’d started the butterfly somewhere before that, but it lay gathering dust on the shelf because I didn’t really have an offset point for it. I happened to mention it to another colleague, Carrey, (who was kind enough to take me to the hospital the morning of the procedures) and she asked to see the progress as I worked, because she loves handmade things, but is not arty. At all!
I finished it earlier this week and while I was admiring it, I received a message from her and thought I’m going to give this butterfly to her for her birthday, because every year, she transforms into a more beautiful soul. The last photo I’d sent her was of it covered in grout, so she didn’t know that I’d indeed finished it.
She almost dropped it when she opened the box this morning, tears of overwhelming gratitude and excitement running down her cheeks. I felt a bit of a tug at my heartstrings, because I felt like I’d accomplished more than just completing a project; I’d touched her heart in a special way. She is filled with ideas of where to hang it, and when it’s up, I will go for coffee and see it in all its glory.
Just goes to show – everything does happen for a reason. On some level I must have known why I’d bought this butterfly kit, in these specific colours…
The bug’s bitten me though. I ordered three more kits from a Facebook friend who has a mosaic-kit business. The will be here later today! They’re also going to be gifts. One, a pink and white cross, for my beautiful goddaughter on her Christening which is taking place on December 8th, and the others (I’m not going to say what they are, because the friends for whom I’ve earmarked them, will immediately know what they’re getting as gifts).
Last week I headed off to the The Mother City to write exams. My Herbalife-friend, Tina tagged along for the ride. I was so grateful because she drove most of the way and as a result I had a few extra hours to study.
We stayed in a delightful flat in Mowbray that I found on Airbnb. Our host, Noel, was absolutely amazing, adding a personal touch by including a small bottle of sparkling wine to the welcome basket in the flat, which we drank on Thursday afternoon after we’d spent the rest of the day at Signal Hill, playing silly buggers and The Company Gardens feeding the pigeons and the squirrels. A highlight was “The Perfect Cup” which was served at the coffee shop at the latter.
Other highlights included catching up with my friends, Jakes, and Alijay for quick coffees. Oh, and I had the best curry of my life the Wednesday night (yes, in Cape Town, not Durban!)
and a smashing Lemon Meringue with “The Perfect Cup”.
All in all, looking back, I am glad that I didn’t once, set foot in a mall and spend money on stuff that I not only don’t need, but can’t afford – and that will be fleeting pleasures. These #memories are forever!
My blog is a relatively no-holds barred space. I write about different things, and often from one extreme to the next. I know that I have different readership, for which I am grateful, but I want to state, again, that I will not tolerate prejudice from those readers who disagree with the content of any of my posts – like the atheists about my religious/faith posts, or the Bible followers that disagree with my view on people like Aimee and her choices. If you can’t respect that, then I’d rather have you unfollow me.
My exams are finally over. *Happy dance*! I got back from Cape Town on Friday afternoon, and was surprised to hear that Aimee was in town. Obviously, we had to get together to catch up on what’s happened since our last visit, a fortnight shy of a year.
Poor woman. She is totally fucked – in the physical sense of the word, but in the psychological realm too. She’s not crazy (well, then again, she is in my inner circle, so maybe she is a bit touched), but mind-fucked.
A lot has gone down in the past year, which is the last time I saw her:
Junior got involved with a girl his own age and from what Aims tells me, he seems idyllically happy. She seems okay about it, telling me that on the odd ocassion he’ll call, just to hear how she’s doing, which she appreciates, although he did tell her the other night that while he was in the shower, he thought to himself that he should phone her. Hello?! He’s involved with another chick, yet he thought about Aimee when there was steam surrounding his naked body while hot water was pounding his flesh. Well, maybe it wasn’t just hot water… In the back of her mind though, I think she knew even if they had got their groove on, it would have been short-lived.
Mr. Married Willy is also out of the picture. I say, “Thank God!” even though she is devastated. While all he initially wanted was the intellectual sex, they decided to meet in person a while ago, but he couldn’t get out of the house, “for fear of making my wife suspicious” and then again recently, but nothing came of it. I said he got cold feet, she said he got a cold heart, which shriveled his dick and crumbled his spine. I get her anger, but he is married, although I know better than to bring that up because it’s not what she needs-, nor wants to hear right now.
She tried to be brave when telling me of her disappointment, but I know she’s hurting. I’m not sure if she was in love him, but she was curious, and with her vivid imagination, I think she had some kind of picture in her head of him getting a divorce, then having rip-roaring, sheet-tearing, chandelier-swinging sex with him, and possibly, some kind of future. It’s a definite no-go after he made some shitty excuse about not being able to see her. Snap! That’s the sound of the little bit of frayed line that held whatever-it-was-they-had together. I want to phone him and tear a strip off of him, but she’s put a leash on me, so she’s planning her own revenge. She knows who his wife is, and it’s easy enough to get in touch with her on Facebook. She has every last text message, and e-mail exchange of the almost two years they’ve been corresponding, and she has no qualms about forwarding them to his unsuspecting wife. I can only hope she changes her mind because while he deserves to be miserable and alone, his children didn’t ask for this.
There’s no shortage of virile men around Aimee though. Mr. Freak, now known as Mr. Hot Bunz is still in the picture, which surprises me, especially after her disconnection from the moment the last time and because Friends with Benefits is not her style; being a fuck-buddy, with the right guy is. For those of you not sure what the difference is:
Friend with Benefits: Person who is a friend, with whom you enjoy spending time, doing friend-stuff, but it may or may not end up with you doing the horizontal mambo. When either one is in a relationship, then the benefits are forfeited.
Fuck Buddy: You both fuck each other senseless and then sleep in your respective homes. There is nothing friend-like about the arrangement. You’re basically carnal rabbits in a cosmic pheromone-filled warren. Synonym: Booty Call.
So, now that you have the nutshell meanings, Aims is the kind of girl that’ll hook up for the occasional one-night-stand, and if he has her coming like a garden hose, she might even enter into a fuck-buddy arrangement with him, but it will never involve doing ‘relationshippy’ things, like drinks at a fancy bar, walks on the beach or a movie-night, with pizza and wine, nor will it ever involve him/her spending the night. It will be wanton sex. Nothing more, nothing less.
But it’s different with Mr. Hot Bunz and it’s messing with her head. He’s become her friend and a confidante. I’ll chalk the latter off to the fact that I live too far away for her to pop in for a heart-to-heart over a glass of good red. She hooked up with him the same night Mr. Married Willy stood her up, and it blew her mind, but she feels guilty now.
“Oh. My. God! Aims, you’re not…”
Yes, she’s in love with him, and she has made the epic mistake of telling him how she feels. Kudos to him for not getting into his car and riding a million miles in the opposite direction, even more so when she may, or may not have told him in a hazy sleep-awake moment that she loved him, or someone else. She knows she heard a loud, “What?” from a voice, but she’s not sure if it was his voice, or if she dreamt the whole thing. If she did say it out loud, I hope it was that she loved him, because she’s already had one strike. I also hope that if he is an actual knight in shining armour, that he will at least be open to something more, because while Aimee almost never has her shit together, she is a one in a million girl and when she’s in a committed relationship, she’s in it for keeps. All she needs is a good guy to take a gamble on her. I know if he does, he will have struck the biggest jackpot imaginable.
To balance things out, Aims finally stopped gushing about herself and Mr. Sexy Ass, just long enough to ask about how things are with my love life.
“Less complicated than yours”, was my response, which is the truth, but some days I wish I had her open mind, smoking hot body and happy-go-lucky (for the most part) attitude towards life and fiery rabbit-love.
I have a feeling too, that another year isn’t going to pass before I give you an update on Aimee’s Escapades, given that she is seeing Mr. Sexy Ass more often now. So, ‘til next time…adios!
…that Peace that Paul wrote to the Phillipians about…I received it!
Phillipians 4:7 “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (ESV)
A great deal of things happened this weekend…Roosterkoeks the size of tablets, coffee at Steve’s folks on their farm, a touch of the mysterious at Sulina’s Faerie Sanctuary, an ice-cold something at the Dros in Roberton, a wors-braai on Du Toit’s Kloof Pass, a walk from Three Anchor Bay to Sea Point and back, photos at Signal Hill, a stop at the Lindt shop, a pop in at that Waterfront, rugby in a box at Newlands, watching the lights from Ou Kaapse Weg, a drive over Chapman’s Peak, via Hout Bay and Camp’s Bay, feeding the squirrels and pigeons in the Company Gardens…but that is not what I want to share today… despite all these wonderful memories, one moment, a few fleeting seconds actually, is what I will probably carry closest to my heart for a long while still.
This past Sunday, whilst on a weekend away to Cape Town with Steve and Elizabeth, I experienced a fleeting few moments of that God’s Peace that surpasses all understanding.
On a whim, we jumped in the car at 06:25 to find a good spot to check out the sunrise…knowing that the best sunsets are seen from the southern side of Cape Town, I took the two “tourists” up the scenic Boye’s Drive then into Fishoek where we decided to take a walk on the beach. I was dressed in my skinny jeans and the shirt I’d slept in (we weren’t initially planning to be getting out where people would see us) and no shoes. While Steve and Elizabeth took photos I rolled up my jeans (with no real success) and put my feet in the water. Before I knew it I was thigh deep and after a quick conference with Elizabeth regarding the use of her jersey, I walked right back into the water and it happened…just before I dived under the waves, there was complete silence around me.
I could have dived under the waves and not resurfaced. It wouldn’t have mattered because…I. was. at. Peace.
I can’t qualify my experience with words, be they spoken or written. All I can say is that in that fleeting five to eight seconds, nothing in my life mattered, except me and my Father in Heaven. He touched me in a supernatural way – I have been teary ever since, but I know that tears bring healing, so I am letting them flow. God is working in me, making changes for the better. So, even as I am not sure what lies ahead, I know that I can walk in faith, because I am filled with peace.
Elizabeth invited me to join her, Gabriel and Steve to go and watch a local show, but I am really budget conscious right now, and besides that, God had an appointment with me at church last night. In actual fact, He’s had appointments with me the entire weekend, but more about that in a minute… Has it ever happened to you that you can listen to a song, regardless of the genre and enjoy it for the piece of magic it is, but out of the blue, that same song will take on an entirely new meaning, and tug at your soul? If not, then I don’t think you’re normal…
Last night in church we sang “Jesus, Lover of my Soul” and while I’ve sung it countless times, last night I really understood the words. “You’ve taken me from the miry clay…” You see, since moving into my own place, things have been hard. There, I’ve said it. They’ve been hard. I haven’t really had disposable income to enjoy the lifestyle I became accustomed to when living with my parents. Some nights are incredibly lonely. My friends are around, but for the most part, they don’t really understand just how difficult this transition is for me. I’ve spent a great deal crying myself to sleep at night, but yet, I have wanted for nothing. All my needs have been taken care of. God has kept His promise to supply all my needs according to His Glory in Christ Jesus. So, as hard as it is, I’m trying to stay focused. Last night though, when we sang this song, the floodgates opened because Valerie, my colleague, told me that this is a process I have to go through; that God is moulding me for bigger, better things. He has taken me from the miry clay and He is moulding me into an even more beautiful pearl for His Crown.
I’m reading William Paul Young’s Crossroads and my word, I sometimes feel that the book was written specifically for me. Sometimes I will read only a small excerpt, but there will be such a powerful message in there that I get goosebumps. I keep telling myself that I must invest in post-it notes so that I can just mark the messages. I WILL have to make a plan after work today.
On Saturday I attended an amazing ladies’ tea where the message was about women being the pearls in God’s Crown, and what a timely process it is for a pearl to be formed. Again, “You’ve taken me from the miry clay…set my feet upon a rock…” I left that tea feeling… for lack of a more descriptive phrase, specially chosen.
Not really wanting to go straight to bed after church, I asked Andrea (a friend from Herbalife) if she felt like coffee and within minutes she was at my flat. We chatted about what happened in the week and I told her about the tea and other happenings. Normally I wouldn’t really discuss religious/spiritual issues with people whom I am just getting to know, but I feel a strange kinship towards Andrea. She seems to just “get me”, more than some of my life long friends do. Her advise was to remember that I am never alone and that nothing ever happens without reason. Sure, it may not be clear right now, but in hindsight, everything makes sense.
Now, to the title of this post…Brain Itch… for those of you who don’t know what a brain itch is – it is a song that is stuck in your head that no matter how many times you’ve sung the words, you just cannot get it out of your head. Guess what’s stuck in my head right now? Your Song by Elton John. I’m not sure why, but I hope it is saved on my netbook so that I can just listen to it to get it out of my head…
Wishing you all an amazing week, filled with blessings, love and hope.