Dalene

Many years ago I wrote a piece about Daniel, an attendant who worked at the petrol station close to the house we lived in at the time. Today I want to share a similar story, also about a petrol attendant – her name is Dalene. She works at the station I pass daily whether on my way to work, or on my way home. I refuel there most often because I earn loyalty points with the bank if I do.

Her job is not a difficult one, but in a sense it is hard. As the seasons change, the mornings are chillier, darkness sets in earlier, and for a great deal of her shift, she is on her feet. That’s how we got talking one day – she was limping.

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My Lockdown in Review

I have been reading through some of my posts that kept me sane during the hard lockdown last year. If you want to take a gander at them, the first post is here.

Part of me can hardly believe it has already been as long as that, because those first three weeks feel like a distant memory. Sometimes I wonder if they indeed did happen, because looking back now, I realize that as tough as those first-three-weeks-now-more-than-three-hundred-and-sixty-five-days have been, I’ve adapted and grown.

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An Auntlet of Memories…

There is some unwritten rule that says you’re not supposed to have favourites where family members are concerned. Well, if a former British Prime Minister could favour her one twin above the other, I can surely have a favourite aunt, and even though she traded her earthly shell for her angel wings this past Monday after a short battle with liver cancer, Aunty Cathy will always live on in my heart and memories.

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What’s the Worst Thing You can Step on in the Dark?

It’s not been the best week, so I’m grateful that it is Friday. Monday is the start of a new week and a new month. Historically February isn’t a good month for me; it brings with it many reminders that trigger deep bouts of sadness within me, but at least I know to expect them, right?

Anyhow, the inspiration for today’s post, comes from one of the pages I follow on Facebook. It had a post up today posing the question: What’s the worst thing you can step on in the dark?

I can think of quite a few things…

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Declutter, or Hoarding WILL Happen…

I am extremely humbled; a psychotherapist friend in Bristol in the UK asked me to be a contributor for her practice’s website. My first article is available to read here. I shall write for her as required, from my own perspective as someone with depression, on various topics. It is a tremendous privilege to be part of a project like this, knowing that my stories may help others who are struggling.

As I was writing the published article, it got me thinking about other aspects of lockdown and how they’ve affected me.

I said to Eliza the other day that I am starting to hoard stuff, and it is scary. I know that hoarding is linked to certain mental illnesses, including depression.  To quote a short excerpt from an article I found online: “The term hoarding refers to a psychological disorder whereby an individual refuses to discard things that they own. The person holds a firm belief that they will eventually need these items for some reason.”

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I’m Still Here…

I have had a buggered back for ages, but for the last ten days, I had debilitating pain as I’ve never experienced before. I couldn’t walk – I shuffled; I couldn’t stand up from a seated position without crying in pain. It was dreadful.

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Argh!!!!!!

I said to The Bean this morning, “It’s Monday”, and her response was, “No, it’s Thursday” to which I further stated, “It’s a Monday because there was a break in the week.”

Holy crap on sleet, snow and burnt toast! Just after seven this morning I got a heads-up that I may be walking into a shitstorm when I arrived at the office. Turns out that an attempt to aid a colleague confused her and had her here until after eight last night – on a public holiday. I apologised and she was understanding, but nevertheless, the day pretty much has gone downhill from there and I am over it. Seriously. Fucking. Over. It!

Thank goodness we are closing for our summer break tomorrow, because I don’t know how much more strain I can take. I am beyond exhausted, both mentally and physically. Aside from the pressure at work, I am gatvol of Covid-19. While I am not a big fan of the beach, I do enjoy a swim in the sea during my holiday; the beaches are now closed to swimmers, but open to surfers and fishermen. I wonder how the virus discerns between the different beachgoers.

I don’t have much planned for my holiday, other than spending some time with my folks and popping out to the farm to see Shayla-Rae, her mum, her hubby and my Goddaughter, Mouse. I will be able to spend some time in the pool there too, which is a win.

Anyway, I’m off to make myself a cup of Rooibos tea, because if I drink coffee and someone further pisses on my parade, I may just klap them.

I promise that my next post will be a non-rant.