The Winds of Change are A’Blowin’

Sometimes, something happens, and you find yourself (for lack of a better term), different.  Out of this Misfit’s book, I give you two personal examples:

Dining Alone


I’m not sure which one of my girl friends it was, but she said, “It’s like when you reach 40 you just don’t give a rat’s ass anymore what people think.” Pretty much everyone 40+ in the company agreed.

I’ve always been one that enjoys my own company; growing up as an only child in a building where there were no other kids taught me quickly how to keep myself entertained.  As I grew up, I became an extremely social person; I was a relatively well-liked teenager (albeit a book nerd) and post-21, I had many people I considered friends.

As we all know, life happens, and people’s paths diverge – there is no definitive turning point, or fork in the road.  One day you’re still cruising on a Sunday-roadtrip-to-nowhere with your best friend, a year later you’re sitting in a coffee shop alone, having an oversized brunch, chased by a double-thick-peanut-butter-milkshake.

If anyone had told me a year ago, that on the brink of thirty-nine, I would be that person, I would have laughed because I’ve always been of the opinion that there are certain things nobody should do alone – like have a meal in a restaurant, or go to the movies, yet yesterday, I was that person. And it felt surprisingly good. I paged leisurely through some tattered magazine while waiting for-, and during (my mother would just die if she knew I was reading at the table) my meal. I was lost in my own little world, oblivious to what was happening around me, until a stranger accidently bumped my table on his way out.

The point I’m trying to make, I suppose, is that I’ve reached that point, where I’m okay to go out on my own (although solo-movies are still daunting) and not be fazed by what the people around me think.

It boils down to acceptance of self, but more than that love of self – because face it, if you don’t love and accept who you are, how can you expect others to?  I’m confident and independent – and that epitome is the greatest thing ever; just a pity it’s taken me almost forty years to realize it.

Social Media Slow Down


It’s been eleven years since my friend, Vixen, nudged me to join Facebook – the magical world where I could play Texas Hold ‘Em Poker without losing any real money, stay in touch with friends, plug my Herbalife business, share photos & random thoughts (some of my memories have me wondering, What. The. Actual. Fuck?) and Lord knows what else.

Round this time last year, the appeal was just gone.  I woke up one morning thinking, how many people really bother with checking up on me there, as opposed to getting in touch with me by other, more immediate means? I’m not saying I’ve become a total social media luddite, I’ve merely tapered down my use of almost all the apps related to it, except Whatsapp, because it is my main go-to means of comms, mostly because I use my almost ninety-five hundred percent of my allocated 100 minutes of talk-time on my contract to chat to my friend Trisha, in Durban.

Being a complete social media hermit is not normal in the age we live in, so I’ll still log in and check what’s potting in Facebook-land, sometimes I’ll even post something, but quite honestly, I’d much rather save my data to chat with the circle of people on Whatsapp that matter to me, as much as I do to them.

Maybe it’s also because I’m almost forty, who knows?  One thing’s for sure though – there is a change in me, and I’m embracing it.  I feel like a new person – more accepting, more open and sure as hell, more awesome.

Change is not a bad thing – sometimes it is more necessary than we’d care to admit, and it’s a part of growing up, and enjoying life.

I.S – a repost from 2009

Lefty blogged yesterday that if it were up to him to decide which woman deserves the title of Sexiest Woman, it would be Salma Hayek. Personally, I too think she is gorgeous. R’s brothers girlfriend, N even looks a little like Ms Hayek herself.

So I got to thinking, what do I deem as sexy? There are many, but the one that springs to mind immediately is:

Intellectual Sex

Wit / chirping is extremely sexy. It’s flirtatious, fun and great to break the ice. I find being able to engage in what I like to refer to as “intellectual sex or IS”, makes the actual bedroom act so much more thrilling. Please note though, that “intellectual sex” is good, while a “mind fuck” isn’t always.

I have a mate Jerome, who lived in Cape Town who has the women dropping at his feet as if he were Adonis. And yes, while he is quite good looking, it’s the fact that he chirps them constantly that keeps getting them coming back for more – in more ways than one.

He and I actually became friends when he was eavesdropping on a conversation Eliabeth and I were having. I told him we weren’t talking to him, to which he replied, “Oh, I’m sorry, am I the only one in the restaurant you didn’t want hearing your discussion?” I blushed and stammered and well, nine years later, we are damn great friends.

Going Christmas shopping with him for his girlfriend’s Christmas present last year had the people in the store telling us we sound like an old, married couple – we thrive on this kind of feedback and well, honestly, to a point, get off on that banter. It doesn’t cross physical boundaries, and in well his case more than mine, we can leave each other’s company and know that the person we are going home with is going to enjoy what comes next.

How many of you enjoy I.S?