Random Thoughts

The Afrikaans people have a saying, “elke pot het ‘n deksel”, which, translated means “every pot has a lid”. Alley, a friend of mine has found love in the arms of an older (I’m not sure by how much, but I reckon it is 10+ years) man, after a horribly bitter divorce. I don’t think she’s ever been this happy. I was saying to her and her mum while we were doing the dishes after a braai (a BBQ) about two weeks ago that I still haven’t found the right lid. Everytime I think I have found a potential mate, I become way too intense and it’s like I go mad, and poor man is on the next train out of MTM’s Loony-Ville. Her brother, James, whom I have been friends with even longer, burst out laughing and told me that I pretty much am mad. Thanks for that psych-eval my friend…

Strangely enough this topic came up again at a braai we had this past Saturday for Anita’s birthday. A totally different circle of friends was there and Roma was telling me that when she laid eyes on Jack, she knew that he was the man she was going to marry. They are tying the knot at the end of March. I told her exactly what I had told Alley, James and their mum, but I mentioned too, that I am not a bad person. I just want to be able to express my love with no holds barred. Is that so wrong?

Anyway, that’s not actually what I wanted to blog about – I just thought I’d put the thought out there for some discussion…

I’m very chuffed to be going go dinner at Carmen and Evan tomorrow night. It is
24 days into the New Year and I haven’t yet clapped eyes on her. I saw Evan at the gym yesterday. Anyhow, I’m looking forward to having a good ol’ chinwag with her and just catching up. It is shocking just how fast the time passes as I get older.

This year I am planning to reassess a number of relationships I have. Some friends have fallen by the wayside – not because of ill-feelings or other upsets – life has happened and sent us down different paths. Liza sent me an interesting quote by Pastor Rick Warren, author of A Purpose Driven Life – it read “Sometimes God removes people from your life for your protection. Don’t run after them.” As sad as it is, this reality is true, regardless of whether or not you believe in God. Sometimes your paths no longer cross with another person’s because of what might potentially happen in the future.

In about the last 9 months, give or take, I have met some phenomenally interesting people – ironically enough, most of them younger than I am.

There is Suzelle, a school friend of Anita’s, who has a huge heart, a huge smile and who is one of the happiest people I know. She is always there with a kind word and a listening ear.

Then there is Roma (mentioned above), who is also a friend of Anita’s. She and I actually became good friends over the treadmill. For someone who is about five years younger than me, I admire her – her head is screwed on the right way. She knows what she wants and she knows how to get it, without stepping on those in her way. One of the things I like most about her is that if she isn’t satisfied with something, she makes an effort to change it. She doesn’t wait around for someone or some twist of Fate to intervene. She turns an obstacle into an opportunity.
The other day I was chatting to a lady, Jade, in the gym changing room – she had the most incredible shoes on. She told me that her daughter used to love those shoes, but she died at the age of thirteen. I don’t quite remember how it happened, but I told her that I am taking part in a fun walk for cancer awareness and she told me she wanted to walk too. Her daughter died from it. I couldn’t help but think to myself how strong she is – the Circle of Life is not meant to work anti-clockwise where parents bury their children.

If this is how the New Year has started – showing me who and what I can be – happy like Suzelle, determined and successful like Roma and strong like Jade, it is going to be a seriously self-enriching year. Bring it on!

Quick Reflections on a Year Past, Resolutions for the One Ahead

Last night I sat, chilled Chardonnay in hand, on the comfy chair in Elizabeth’s lounge chatting about 2011.  Personally it wasn’t a bad year for me, but many people close to me lost someone important to them.  Every time there was a loss, even though it didn’t directly link with me, it made me more and more aware of my own mortality.

I remember a post Aunty Carol put on Facebook – “Children, be careful of growing up too fast, because you forget that while you are, your parents are growing old.”  This really touched me because I realize every time Dad comes home from a month at sea, that he has aged.  Mom told me one night that she is ready to die and I burst into tears.  She looked at me tenderly, “We’re all going to die sometime, my girl,” she said, “it’s the one thing no-one can escape.”  Tears streaming down my face I said, “I know Mom, but I don’t want to think about it.”  

I started a new job in April and I am so happy – I have been blessed with wonderful colleagues, an understanding boss and enough stimulation for my mind.  Even more importantly, this job allows me to spend time with my family, my friends, do my writing and enjoy a good book every now and then.

I stopped drinking my anti-depressants (cold turkey) in mid-October and towards the end of November, I hit a very bad downer, but with the help of mostly my friends, I got through it. 

Also, something I never thought I would ever do was exercise every day, let alone join the gym, but I did – and that too has made me a better person.  I have made new friends there and even though I go for only an hour every day, I come home feeling energized and positive.  

All in all, as I reflect on 2011, it was an okay year for me.  I’m looking forward to 2012.

I don’t have any major resolutions for this year, but a few things I want to achieve are:

1.  Submitting a complete manuscript to my tutor for proof-reading and editing and then rewrite it well enough to submit it for publishing consideration.

2.  Practicing a random act of kindness every day – after all, there is a saying that says “be kinder than necessary to everyone you meet, for everyone is facing some kind of battle.”

3.  Walk through the night at the annual CANSA Relay for Life.

4.  Go on another cruise holiday (for my leave in December).

5.  Blog daily – even if it is a short post, or simply a wordless photograph.

6.  Be the best friend I can be to my friends.

7.  Leave behind the past and focus on the future.  

8.  Reach my goal weight of 61 Kg by the end of June.

A friend of mine sent me this message this morning – and I believe that it is perfect to end this first entry of what I KNOW is going to be a great year…

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters to what lies within us.  We all have questions about what this New Year will hold for us, but we have courage:  “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28