Day 6: Tears of Joy, Gratitude and Loneliness & Dog Balls

Today I realized that I’m a little freaked out by Maltese Poodles and way too many of my friends have big dogs that sleep on their backs with their junk on display for everyone to see. I’m not sure if I should be laughing or crying that my friends photograph canine testicles and post them on social media.

Jokes aside: I cried a few times today.

I got the news that a friend’s (Melanie) baby had been born. The little tyke made an early appearance on March 19th, although he was only due on April 6th. Mom and baby are both fine and at home. Dad Larry is understandably very proud. Mel sent me some photos, this is one from a few days ago. How precious is he?

It sucks balls (not of the woof-variety) not to be able to visit anyone; I mean Elizabeth is a block away from me, and Carmen’s parents, Anya and Greg, are not even two hundred meters away. It feels like I am floating on an island, adrift in a calm sea, although I have a foreboding of an oncoming storm. I can sense it; the air is different, sounds are sharper, bees are flying into my bedroom at night (the last time that happened, there turned out to be a hive in the ceiling of the main house upstairs). It’s downright spooky!

I had another conference call with the team this afternoon. Aside from my parents (on our daily call), and Elizabeth checking in each day on a WhatsApp voice note, theirs are the only voices I’ve heard in almost a week. The loneliness is starting to catch up with me. I miss my parents, my friends, and my colleagues more than I thought I would.

After the meeting, two colleagues sent me messages – both of assistance related to work. The floodgates opened. These are two people that helped me without my asking, making my burden a little lighter and theirs a tad heavier. Under normal circumstances, I would be grateful, but today I was overwhelmed by their goodness, despite us all being in the same boat.

On less teary news, I am still eating last night’s dinner – with braai salt (because I don’t have regular salt). I don’t know where the braai salt comes from because in the six years I’ve lived in The Cave, I’ve only ever braaied once, and that was on Christmas Eve last year when The Toppie and The Bean spent the night with me. I asked The Toppie if it’s his, and he said it isn’t. Maybe it was here from when Sarah and I still shared The Cave. If it is, then it’s damn fine salt because it hasn’t lost its flavor in almost five years.

I also found Nemo (thank goodness Dory wasn’t with him, because she would have talked my ears off!) He was swimming somewhere between New York and South America this morning.

I think I am going to have a month of ‘coffee mug travelling’ once lockdown is over. I have more than enough coffee cups to manage the exercise.

It is only four-thirty in the afternoon, and I’m already ready for bed. I’m feeling emotionally drained. I’m used to being on my own, but the eerie silence and empty streets leave me with a feeling of dread. I’m going to deal with it the best way I know how – a Stressam at 18:00, and then my crazy pill and a sleeping pill three hours later.

Tomorrow will be better. If it isn’t, I will venture out to the shops to buy ice-cream and chocolate – the two essential pick-me-ups in this Misfit-Femme’s household.

And so ends Day six. Fifteen more to go!

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