I have a friend, Daniel, whom I’ve got to know quite well in the short five months we’ve been friends. It is not my place to discuss the events that led up to us becoming friends, but suffice to say, we just clicked. I think it is because we are both giving, vulnerable souls. People like us are subjected to being taken advantage of; it is an occupational hazard. Daniel, as do I, due to certain events, has trust issues. I understand these issues and have done everything possible to assure him that I care about him and value our friendship and that he can trust me. Up until recently, there were a number of non-verbal signs that he does trust me – he introduced me to some of the people closest to him and shared great deal of personal things with me. I don’t recall exactly what happened, but one night, during an IM chat, he told me “I trust you with my life MTM.” I was stunned…but I knew exactly where he was coming from, because I feel exactly the same. It is not something that I can articulate or tangibly quantify. I just know in my heart that he is genuine and sincere. He is one of the few men I’ve met that is actually out to protect my heart.
Last night I got to chatting with another friend of mine, Aidan, whose wife is away on business. We’ve known each other a bit longer than Daniel and I have, but we never really got to talking until recently. Aidan and his wife, Anthea are two really special people. Open, bubbly and easy-to-talk-to. No airs and graces. Daniel and I rang in the New Year together with Aidan, Anthea and two other friends, Ava and Tammy. What I love about all of these people is, they are who they are – and that is something I have learnt to appreciate. I have gained a great deal of perspective this past year living on my own. Not only about myself, but about a few of my friendships too. I read somewhere that you become like the five people with whom you spend the most time and as I did some reflection, I found that to be harshly true. I realized that I had been spending much of my time mirroring the (many times, negative) behaviour of others. Aidan and I were talking about things we dislike about people and I told him that I dislike dishonesty – especially in cases where one person will deliberately go out to do harm to another. He told me too that he hates lies. I told him a few things about myself – he asked, and I answered honestly, without having to delve into details. As our chat continued, he too said, “You are one of the few people I think I can trust MTM.”
It warmed my heart. Both my mom and Aunty Carol have always told me that in a relationship, love is important, but without trust there can be no love. Then, a quote that I read a few days ago, came up in my mind:
“ ‘I trust you’ is a better compliment than ‘I love you’ because you may not always trust the one you love, but you can always love the one you trust.”
I love many people, but as a great playwright once penned:
“Love all, trust a few, do harm to none.”
If we all follow this advice, All’s Well that Ends Well.