Alive!

Just yesterday, I told my neighbour, Zena (who also happens to be one of my friends) that I was feeling so down courtesy of our annual audit and a lack of sleep the night before.  Insomnia is an old friend, I have learnt to embrace it.  Especially after receiving this from a friend some time ago…

Can't sleep

Right, back to the topic at hand…

I went out with friends (including Zena) last night to a food and wine pairing event.  I stayed over at another friend, Daniel’s place in town because he stays close to the restaurant and after all the wine I had drunk I would have been in no condition to drive home anyway.  As a result of said wine consumption, I woke up this morning with a slight headache.  Nothing major.  Once I’d had a shower and coffee, I felt fine.

Now, Daniel is fortunate to live in a great spot in town, overlooking the sea and the harbour.  As I walked out the door my breath was taken by the beauty of the ocean – it looked like a lake.  Something changed in me this morning.  My soul was renewed.  That is the only way I can describe it.

There was a red boat (I think a tanker – Daniel would know – he is a man of the sea -, but he was getting ready for work, so I didn’t want to bother him by asking…) on the water, and its colour was reflected on the water – not the best quality photo, I know, but I hope you can see what I saw.

20141114_072836 20141114_072805

I drove to another vantage point to try to get some more photos, not remotely phased that I may have been late for work.  The beauty of this amazing morning was something I just had to capture…

20141114_072829

It just got better from there.  Mikey Wax’s You Lift Me Up was on the radio and I cranked up the volume.  This is one song, along with American Authors’s Best Day of of Life that I must lay my hands on.

When I got to work, I greeted everyone as I usually do, but something was different.  I felt positive.  More positive than I have in months.

As is the case most days, I caught Carmen on Skype and wished her a Fabulous Friday and told her that I am feeling SO SO SO positive.  When she asked why I told her what I’ve told you all above…and she said something that touched my heart, “I agree.  I also looked over the sea and just prayed, saying thank You for the beautiful day and for the privilege to be alive.”  I’d never thought of living life like that – that it is a privilege.

I am feeling so inspired, euphoric almost! I feel like my heart is going to leap out of my chest because I’m in a place of contentment and gratitude.

My current Facebook status update reads:

What are YOU grateful for? I am grateful for eyesight – to be able to see the beauty of this breathtaking day God has gifted me. I am grateful for hearing – my heart smiles as I hear the birds chirping outside. I am grateful for smell – brewing coffee lifts my spirits. I am grateful for taste – it allows me to appreciate the food and drink around me.. I am grateful for touch – it allows me to connect with others. I am grateful, simply, to be ‪#‎alive‬.

Grateful

I sent Daniel a message earlier, “I may have woken with a slight headache, but something changed in me when I walked out the door and swat the boats on the water and the amazing reflection.  I feel completely renewed.  I feel grateful to be alive.”

His reply, “Me too strangely enough.”

For those of you who know me personally, you will know I talk.  A lot.  I will give a compliment where I can and I always try to be kind (based on the premise that everyone is fighting some kind of battle), but earlier, I felt a deep grip in my spirit to walk to my colleague Nadia’s office and tell her what was in my heart.  I said, “Nads, I know this is going to possibly be weird because it is totally random, but I just want to tell you that you are a beautiful person.  I don’t know if you need to hear it, but it is heavy in my heart to tell you.”  She looked at me and simply said, “Thank you” with tears brimming in her blue eyes.  My eyes also welled up.  It was an extremely poignant moment.

Something major took place within me this morning.  I can feel a physical manifestation of it, although it is not within me to articulate it into words.  I feel like my DNA is being restrung.  I pledge here, for whoever reads this, to remain positive and grateful and not waste the privilege bestowed upon me to LIVE, because for the first time in a long time, I really do feel alive!

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2 thoughts on “Alive!

  1. Tokeloshe January 22, 2015 / 6:29 pm

    We miss SA and especially the Cape so much ;-(
    Enjoy!

    • Mid-Thirty Misfit January 23, 2015 / 8:12 am

      Tokeloshe – I can’t imagine myself ever living anywhere else for an extended period of time.

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