How many times haven’t you said, “I won’t ever get involved again, because I’m scared of getting hurt.”? I have, more times than I can count. My heart was shattered the year I turned 21, when Peter, the man I absolutely adored told me that he didn’t love me anymore and that I should go back to my parents. I honestly thought that my life had ended, but a mere three months after our break-up, I met Jay though work. We dated for a year and then I ended it – we wanted different things out of life. I know I hurt him, but in retrospect, I think he knew that at the time I wanted different things out of life. He’s married now, living on Mud Island with his wife and children, and from what I can gather, he is happy. Quite some time after that I met Samuel, whom I was extremely attracted to, but he was involved… that didn’t stop me though – in fact, it simply spurred me on to prove that I could have him. Imagine my horror when he cheated on me with the girl I’d stolen him from. Three years later, he’d convinced me that he’d cleaned up his act and wanted desperately to try again. I forgave him, and a mere three months after that, he broke up with me – on FB! I’ve heard of friends of mine getting divorced and people I know having affairs. So I’m sure you can see my aversion to relationships, for the simple fear of getting hurt again.
A friend of mine added me to a FB group in which the women of the group motivate others – most of the motivations are Bible based, and obviously because it’s the month of love, the underlying current has been love in various forms, and particularly God’s love for us. This was posted in the group – and it really hit home.
I know that when I find the love that’s meant for me, I won’t be scared…
I hope this blesses you as much as it did me.
Reflections of a Misfit 