It’s Worse than I (or Anybody) Else Thought…

…I’m officially on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

I went to the doctor on Thursday, hoping to just get something for the insomnia I’ve been suffering from of late.  He examined me and asked me a million questions and then promptly phoned my parents and told them that it is professional opinion that I resign from the farm because due to the work-related stress (which has set over into Major Depression) I’m suffering from, I am going to suffer a nervous breakdown and end up in an institution.  I sat there, quite aghast – I NEED my job to pay the bills…

I got home and both Mom and Dad were out.  I took the opportunity to drink the pills and sleep (that’s all I’ve done since Thursday)…when I awoke for a brief water-drinking interval, Dad and Mom came into my room, both looking ashen and Dad announced, “You are more important to me than any amount of money.  Your health and sanity are more important to your mother and I than any amount of money.  We think you should seriously heed the Doctor’s advice and resign.  Don’t worry about your bills, they will be paid.”  We all cried like someone had died – well I suppose someone has, because the person I am now (and have been for the last four to six weeks) is not their daughter.  I haven’t said anything to the people at work yet because I am going to make use of my sick leave.  The doctor will give me a letter too stating that he feels tendering my resignation will be the best thing for me.

So, the recovery process starts…one day at a time…one foot in front of the other…

8 thoughts on “It’s Worse than I (or Anybody) Else Thought…

  1. adeeyoyo November 13, 2010 / 11:58 am

    I am so glad you went to the doctor, MTM. That was the best thing to do and your parents are right: your health is paramount.

    Perhaps your employer will be understanding and find a solution. Perhaps you will have to leave. Whatever – just trust that you will end up in a better place. God bless you. 🙂

    • Mid-Thirty Misfit November 15, 2010 / 8:53 am

      Hi Adee, it is going to be an extremely long road to recovery, but I am taking each day at a time, sleeping most of it away, but if that is what my body and mind need to get better, then that is what I do.

      Elizabeth said to me the other day – when life gives you a hard knock, there is something better in store. I’m holding on to that hope.

  2. Cindy November 13, 2010 / 12:25 pm

    Oh Kiddo, I didn’t realise it was so bad. Thank God you went to the doc in time!
    Big hugs.

    • Mid-Thirty Misfit November 15, 2010 / 8:55 am

      I didn’t either Cindy…in fact, nobody did. But, at least it was diagnosed in time and I can focus on getting better. Thanks for the hugs xx

    • Mid-Thirty Misfit November 15, 2010 / 8:56 am

      If it wasn’t for my family, I would probably have suffered a nervous breakdown ages ago. I have the best parents in the world.

  3. C. November 16, 2010 / 10:01 am

    awwww *hugs* it sounded like you were working super hard from all your posts, it’s not worth it if it damages your well being, hope you recover soon, it’s just a job, another one (probably better) will come along when you’re ready to start working again.

    In the meantime enjoy the rest, and your parents looking after you, and don’t feel guilty or anything if they have to pay your bills for now, that’s what parents are for 😛

    • Mid-Thirty Misfit November 22, 2010 / 10:19 am

      Hi C, thanks for popping in. I was working super hard, but a lot of other little niggly things contributed to the stress I was suffering.

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