Today I ran into a couple I used to be quite close friends with a decade or so ago, when I was engaged to one of their employees. After the relationship with Peter* went south, I lost touch with Jack* and Beryl*. As I am typing this, I have to smile as I remember their son, Rick* had such a huge crush on me.
Now let me tell you, Jack has always been an attractive man with piercing blue eyes and dark hair. I had fantasies about him, all the while engaged to Peter. Obviously in a decade he has aged a bit, with that distinguishing grey making its appearance round his temples. When I saw him today I couldn’t help but think, “I wouldn’t mind having him rip my clothes off and doing whatever would please him – and me – to me.” The fact that he’s married doesn’t even feature as a moral issue with me.
The same applies to someone who recently, very innocently I might add, kissed me goodbye before returning home to his wife and two children. I was quite taken aback, embarrased even, by the fact that he bade me adieu the way he had, but for days after I could hardly think straight! I even said to a group of my girlfriends on Thursday night that I wouldn’t mind having an affair with him.
It seems if they’re married (and older than I am – even better) they’re all the more desirable in my book. I know its wrong, but I just can’t help myself.
Anyhow, back to the subject at hand, which is Peter. Ironically enough, in ten years since our breakup I think I’ve run into him five times. He is now engaged to a friend of mine, Carla* (very long story) and I happened to run into them too today. WTF is going on – it’s like ghosts of all types of friends past today…
He is still as smug as ever – although he is not remotely as appealing as he was to me when I was 19. He honestly looks like a tramp of sorts – baggy old jeans, cigrarette in his mouth, beanie on his now-surely-bald-head. He still had the gall to tell me that I’m looking so hot and literally undress me with his eyes in front of Carla.
Thank goodness my cellphone rang. It was work. I was so relieved. I quickly excused myself and dashed off, only to run into him again – this time sans Carla.
He again thought it a good idea to tell me that I am looking so hot. I just stared at him for a minute (contemplating whether to spit in his face or not) and thought, “you know, when we met you were hot in a rogue-ish kind of way. You had sex appeal and a cocky attitude which in itself was hot. The difference between me being hot now and you being hot then is that in ten years I’ve grown up. I see you haven’t. It’s still about seeing if you can make a girl trickle with want for you.”
All I said though as I turned on my heel was, “I don’t know what I was thinking!”
And as I headed out the store I ran into another old friend, Derrick, who greeted me with a bear hug and a kiss and offered to buy me coffee. I accepted without thinking twice. We hooked arms and walked off chatting.
I didn’t turn around to see Peter’s reaction, but I can only imagine it and that my dears, is enough to have me smiling.